I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
