i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Boobs are out for the taking
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
