i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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