Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Umm I'm too high to move.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
