these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No stitches, just platelets and will power
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The power of my boobs compel you
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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