SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
