At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
