we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
