My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
