Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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