hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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