I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
