how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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