nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
