worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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