I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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