Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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