did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
