Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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