i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
