Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
