make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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