guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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