pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize