just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
