every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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