The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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