Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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