My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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