I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
