and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
