Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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