I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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