Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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