Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
