i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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