Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
