how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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