you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
