You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize