Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
