im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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