Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
