i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
