yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
