K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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