people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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