Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
