i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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