Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
