how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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