It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
