I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Drake has all the answers
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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