butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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