It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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