u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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