every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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