You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
